Everything

They say everything happens for a reason, but how come we never know the reason? Broken hearts.. For a reason. Being late for work... For a reason. Fights with your best friend... For a reason. I want to know the reason...

When he crushed my heart, I didn't get a reason I just got a lot of sad days, a lot of tears and a lot of mornings with swollen eyes. I know I can't make him love me but I wish I would have at least known what he felt or if he felt anything at all.... I just got silence.

Silence is the worst answer I could have gotten. I would have at least liked a fight better, a reason, something would have been better than just the silence he left me with.

just him

Being noticed every time I walked thru the door sent chills down my spine, my heart was beating so fast I thought my chest was going to explode, being noticed every time I walked thru the door was the highlight if my evening....

He left me smiling every time. My heart tingles even now at the thought of him. He makes my teeth sweat, ha ha. I miss the feel of his hands on my body, the touch of his lips on my neck, the simple caress of his hands. I just miss him.

I just keep waiting....

darkness

laying here in the early morning hours, all I can hear is the fan rattling and the computer humming , the constant vision of your smile the last time I saw you.
every night I lay here thinking about what I wished I had with you. all I wanted was to be with you, in your arms while we slept, like so many times before. I have never in my life felt as safe as i did when you held me close to you, never did I want those moments to ever end....

I never knew love until I fell in love with you, never has my heart ached so much. Had I known I was never going to see you again I would have held you a little longer, stared a little bit harder...

I wish I could make your heart understand how much I love you.... I had my chance to show you how I could love you, but I guess I failed....